Blog Description
This blog is solely meant for the purpose of blogging. No, seriously. Disclaimer. Do leave a tag if you do play DotA. I would love to have a friendly match with you.
About Me
Aaron a.k.a Turtle
Loves her <3
14 years old.
10/01/1993
short and sweet ^^
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Sunday, November 29, 2009
Ever know what it feels like to see your loved ones feel so fucked up yet you are unable to do anything about it? Well, i do. I'm practically useless. I cannot do anything at all to improve the situation. All i can do is sit by the side and watch. Well, fuck that. I have gotta endure this. =/ Worst few days of my life. I'm down with a bad sore throat and it isn't exactly the most comfortable sensation. I have a tired aching body, i'm growing fat again -.-. Wth, down period much. Hopefully things get better soon. Especially for my loved ones.
Cougara blogged at 2:27 PM
Monday, October 05, 2009
Finally, i doubt anyone comes here anymore.. i can blog i guess. So much has happened. Life can really screw you over when you try to screw it. I lost something dear to me. Not facing the loss very well. I don't know what to do anymore. People tell me the priorty is to study. Heck, i know that. Haven't I been trying harder? I really am. I bet everyone's experienced this feeling before, being afraid. Fear of losing something forever, but do we still say that when something new comes along to replace it? I haven't the determination to drop everything, but neither am i gathering the courage to carry on. I'm standing in the middle, not knowing what to do. But actually, i do know what i want to do, just don't have the courage. How can everyone be so brave? While i'm sitting alone here crying? I've always hated feeling so weak, but i am remaining weak. Can i grow stronger? What if I have a change of heart? I keep asking myself, I really cannot afford that. I'm tired, but i lack the support i need. I'm troubled, but i don't know who to confide in. The distance between us grows. I'm tired of a lot of stuff. Like how i'm always the number one target. I don't know who's right and who's wrong. I always thought i was one of better judgement, how wrong i was. I now see things clearer, how everything is not how it seems. I don't know what i want in this life anymore. I don't know how to live it, neither do i know what my future holds. I can't say i'm going to end it, so i just gotta walk on, even if i don't know what awaits me. And if the someone i hold dear as mentioned above, and if you ever read this, i'll be waiting.
Cougara blogged at 6:05 AM
Monday, June 02, 2008
I just sit in my chair. Feeling so empty without you. As i read your blog, i felt the guilt in lying to you. I really thought you would be happier. You made it seem you were unhappy with feelings for me. So i had to lie, so you would be happy. I never knew it would turn out this way. Please forgive me. I can't forget you. Really i can't.. =/
I hate my life. Too complicated. Can't i just love her in peace?
Cougara blogged at 7:40 PM
Saturday, February 09, 2008
The turtle speaks again! o.o Sometimes, i honestly disappoint myself. In every area possible. I looked in the mirror and reflected upon myself. I have done things to disappoint my friends, my family and myself. I myself, cannot believe i have done such stupid things. Perhaps i expect too much out of others and myself. I really want to just break down, break away from these horrid feelings. Perhaps this is growing up. Or maybe not. I just feel a whole mixture of horrible feelings. I'm too lazy to further elaborate. Die, me.
o.o emo turtle.
Cougara blogged at 4:18 AM
Saturday, January 26, 2008
I haven't been blogging of late. But i have been rather interested in poetry. So here goes a simple one.
A simple poem.
My dying heart struggles to live,
to tell the tale of my love so true.
To love is to give and receive,
but all i got was my heart cut into two.
Alone in my room i fall to my knees,
to silently retell my story of a foolish love.
Until the day my heart is set free,
i am nothing but a trapped, loveless, dove.
The tears don't stop flowing,
they just trickle down my face.
Sitting in a corner with thoughts lingering,
gazing deeply into the dark blank space.
I thought of my reunion with you.
but it is but a distant dream.
Slowly, these thoughts dwindle to a few,
For they are more impossible then they seem.
I would love to have a pure, unbroken heart,
but it has already been shattered.
A form of the finest abstract art,
a heart that is torn and tattered.
Was it my fault for loving too deeply?
For believing too much in you?
I chose to believe your words so empty,
Now i suffer the consequences due...
Cougara blogged at 6:56 AM
Monday, December 10, 2007
Alright. Countless have already proclaimed my blog dead. With the extravagance of Chaos, he even sent flowers. I sincerely thank him. Sometimes, i think being a samurai or slayer would be really cool. Lack of emotions. Killing without mercy. Living by a code of honor. Satsugaisha.That's the Japanese term for Slayer. Its a joint term owned by me and my cousin. Enough of that. I have no idea what's going on in my life anymore. Contradictions. A simple word to sum it all up. Go figure. I don't know anything anymore.. Anyway, i think i have made a breakthrough with my cousin. He has a heart afterall. Random stuff i am blogging about.
SatsugaishaRon
Cougara blogged at 7:18 AM
Monday, November 12, 2007
The hypocrisy of this world is simply astounding. Worlds are promised but what is the point if you just don't mean it..? I may have been a hypocrite, i do not know but i am trying to change. Honestly, i see many hypocrites in my life. They only bring me harm. I really don't know what this world is coming to. Sudden idea to blog. So i won't continue, so FFS, people, mean what you say.
hypocrisy.
aaron.
Cougara blogged at 9:56 PM